I’m a planner. I had a plan, it wasn’t a crazy plan, but it was a good one. I had a great husband and a great job, now it was time for the great family. I planned to have a baby in May, because being a March baby, I was always jealous of warmer birthdays. I planned to be on maternity leave over the summer and then head back to work. And then life laughed in my face and crapped all over my pretty little plans.

In March, after the easiest 30 weeks of pregnancy ever, I was admitted to the hospital for preeclampsia. In a matter of four days, we went from monitoring preeclampsia to HELLP to an emergency C-section. Our baby, Dylan, was delivered at 3lbs 1 oz. He went right to the NICU where he stayed for 2 months. (Here’s looking at you St. Peter’s! xoxo) Delivery is supposed to be the cure for preeclampsia, but for me I never felt better. 6 weeks after delivery, I was readmitted to the hospital. My kidneys were failing, there was fluid around my heart, and fluid in my lungs. While my tiny baby was in the NICU, I was in the ICU. After three weeks of the doctors trying to figure out what was wrong, I was diagnosed and started on dialysis. I was eventually discharged and am still on dialysis now. I have heard so many times how rare I am, and every time I just feel like a freak.

I haven’t been able to go back to work, so I was eventually let go. My job, that I loved, was gone. That was a tough blow because I consider myself a hard worker and I had planned to be a working mom. It took me a little while to realize that I am not my job. Being a designer, I just need to be creative in some way and I’ll still feel fulfilled. So it made sense to start a blog. I can sew stuff or draw stuff and still have people to share it with.

A big shout out to my saint of a husband that never left my side, I don’t know what I would do without you. And to my amazing family for all of their support for me and Dylan. My heart breaks for anyone that had to go through what I went through without a support system.

For anyone else out there that has a rare disorder or had their big plans drastically change on them, I’m here for ya. Or if you just want to make some crafty stuff, I’m here for that too. Life is absolutely crazy.